lalita iyer musings Caring and caregiving

I am worried as I watch how relatives and friends deal with senior citizens at home. The question- What will happen to you at that age props up. I don't think all the yoga and meditation of the world or the disparaging humor is going to come to my rescue.  

I am already a stumbling and bumbling as I get up from a chair and alight stairs.  I am doing yoga and exercises to open my tight hips, under-active legs, and an absolutely frozen body. You can thank your gods that I do it behind closed doors. And we will not touch sensitive subjects like creaks and ever-embarrassing body sounds. And with great inhibition I say that it will be another story when we talk about gas. Or the lack of it. 

Talking of caregiving, there is an aspect how the person who is being cared for turns demanding and and 'cruelly' insensitive. This being a sore point for many, let me discuss the solutions available. 

Age loneliness and a deep sense of insecurity makes its presence felt, making the old people more cantankerous and needy. Having said that, care seems to directly fall in the lap of the woman, though it might be the man's mother. We have accepted it and it rules every home. Call this a sacrifice or martyrdom. No man still cares to wonder what would happen if the woman of the house refuses to look after the house, the elderly, and the young. Worth thinking. 

The new UDF government in Kerala has decided to create a separate department for senior citizens. Awesome.  According to Antony Palackal, in his op-ed page on the 'Lessons from a greying peninsula', which appeared in the New Indian Express, "The initiative marks a shift from viewing elderly persons merely as passive welfare beneficiaries toward recognizing them as citizens with rights, dignity and continuing social contributions. 

Kerala’s new department for senior citizens could emerge as a pioneering model for India, demonstrating how an ageing society can be approached not with fear or neglect, but with compassion, institutional imagination and a commitment to graceful ageing." 

I am not sure how the government will work here, but let us look at it positively and hope the Kerala government sets a sterling example and others can learn and replicate. 

– Lalita Iyer