STAR MOMS: A BANE & A BOON

90% of B-Town is adamant that star mothers, (especially heroines’ mums) should be banned from sets. However, there are exceptions…

Krishnan M

The star mother is someone who you need to be apprehensive of.  Legendary gossip from the 50s/60s/70s, has it that Nargis’ mother Jaddanbai, and Hema Malini’s mother, Jaya Chakraverti, ruled their daughters lives with an iron-fist, making the filmmakers wary of them.  And, some star-mothers and grandmothers even ‘terrorised’ film-sets with their unpleasantness.   These stories were so widespread, that some film mothers and their ilk, became a dreaded force.

In the 80s/90s, filmmakers, Feroz Khan, Subhash Ghai, Sanjay Leela Bhansali, Farhan Akhtar and some top banners like Yash Raj Films reportedly put in clauses in the talent’s contracts saying, “no mummies to be present on set.’’  In short, star-mothers were banned.

Shilpa Shetty’s drop-dead, gorgeous mother Sunanda with her trademark bindi and sparkling diamonds, was omnipresent on a film set in the 90s.  Eye-witnesses have seen her wrinkle her nose, from behind the camera, when a shot featuring her daughter, didn’t meet with her approval.  But, Sunanda, was also equally liked.  Many of Shilpa’s co-actors knew that ‘aunty’ could read kundalis. So Mama was a welcome distraction in between shots.

Quite the opposite was Madhuri Dixit’s, “Aai’’, Snehlata.  She quietly followed her daughter from the set to the make-up room and back like a pre-programmed parent, but was never heard interfering with filming. Or even talking loudly. 

Karisma Kapoor and Kareena Kapoor Khan’s mother, Babita, a star in the 60s, didn’t visit too many sets.  But she took all important career calls, especially in her elder daughter, Lolo’s life.  “Babita chose the tailor for Karisma’s film costumes,’’ said a maker.  Adding, “And, Lolo’s hairdresser, make-up man, secretary and other support staff were carefully recruited by her.’’  There is more. At another juncture, Babita also decided who her daughters should marry.  It’s remarkable that both Lolo and Bebo respected their mother’s decisions. Randhir Kapoor, once joked, “Both are mama’s girls, but I have no issues with it.  Babita has brought them up well.’’

That be as it may, there’s an updated version of the star-mom available from the turn of the century.  She no longer tags along with ‘baby’ to a shooting and orders “juice’’ for her.  Instead, she hangs with a group of her peers, lunching, instagramming, partying, modelling, acting, designing clothes and homes, etc. But that hardly means she isn’t interfering in her star son/daughter’s life.  Or basking in their glory.  

In keeping with the times, the star-mother pulls the strings from home. And, the producers still bear the brunt of the costs.  “Recently, a star-mother called us directly to specify that her anorexic beti’s food had to come all the way from a five-star hotel at Bandra’s Lands’ End to our film shoot 30 kms away in Madh Island,’’ said a production controller. Ouch! that really hurt.  But we told you some star-moms are unreasonable.  On any given day, a film mother can be anything.  She can be a star-assistant, a PR executive, a casting agent, a shrink, an alter-ego, just about anything.  She’s the I-know-it-all type.

Last August, Ahaan Panday, of the Saiyaara craze, became the hottest thing on the block. As expected, his mother, former-model and wellness coach, Deanne Panday, who was until then relegated to the sidelines, called friends including some media sorts, to showcase a couple of Ahaan’s high-profile commercials at a theatre in BKC.  In the foyer, the well-spoken Deanne, got into the mode of a PR-executive and extolled the virtues of her good-beta to a captive audience.  After all, she was the mother of a Bollywood ‘Turk’. 

Somewhere around the same time frame, Ahaan’s cousin, Ananya Panday who had ended her alleged brief affair with Kartik Aryan on an awkward note, was apparently hesitating to do Karan Johar’s Tu Meri Main Tera Main Tera Tu Meri.  However, insiders say that her mother, Bhavana Panday, convinced her daughter to work with the youth sensation, Kartik because he was on a roll at that point.  There you go.  A star-mum can even make up her daughter’s mind for her.  

Coming to Kartik’s own mother, Mala Tiwari, the lady, is a gynaecologist from Gwalior. But many have observed that she spends more time traveling with her superstar-son than she does dispensing medicine. The good thing about Dr Tiwari is that she’s very likeable. While interacting with a journalist in Jaipur, during the Bhool Bhulaiya promotional tour, the feisty maa was overheard telling one “trying-to-get-familiar-with-her’’ scribe, “No, thank you I don’t want gossip from you.  I have more gossip than you.’’ This one is a real sport, say journalists, who like her frank speak.

Lalli Dhawan, Varun Dhawan’s mother is quite like Dr Tiwari.  Those who regularly bump into her at a five-star health club in Juhu say that when Lalli is in a good mood, she has them in splits.  She sportingly cracks ‘light’ jokes about her filmmaker husband, David Dhawan and her superstar son, Varun. Albeit, Lalli is not the sort, who will hang on a film-set.  She is a part of the Juhu-Bandra celebrity wives’ clique and spends her afternoons with the flashy film wives, who host jagratas and jamborees.

Star-mothers today are a medley.  While some remote-control their celebrity-children’s lives from home; others, just stay away. Yet the star-mother is a phenomenon that will always remain a fave topic.  And, there are many superstars who still wear their mama’s boys/girls tag like a badge of honour.   When he went up on stage with his writer-father, Salim Khan to endorse the documentary, Angry Young Men, in 2024, Salman Khan proudly said, “Mere Paas do do Ma Hain’’ indicating that he loved his own mother Salma Khan and his step-mother Helen equally.  And, was proud to be a son of two-mothers.  

Not be outdone, by Salman, at another media-event marking her 30-year stay in Bollywood, Rani Mukerji, gave the credit for her career to her mother, Krishna Mukherjee.  She referred to her mum as, “a Bengal Tiger’’ and a “shero’’.  The distinguished actress, also added that her mother was her pillar of strength. And was her inspiration for the character she played in Mrs Chatterjee v/s Norway, a role for which she won the National Award.

Here Rani also added that her mum and her own style of parenting was different. She explained that her 10-year-old, Gen-Alpha, Adira is more of a best friend and cheerleader.  Different times, call for different strokes, the actress indicated.

To sum it up, on screen or off it, the film mother is a compulsory blind.  You can love her, hate her, adore her or abhor her. But you cannot ignore her.